"What will it be sir?" - Male #1.
"The works." - Me.
"Excuse me?" - Male #1.
I just stood there and stared directly into his small, dilated, shiny, despairing pupils. Quickly, I glanced down at my wallet, jerked my head at it, and then returned my gaze at the man. He understands. Pulling out the goods from under a shelf he begins to prepare them. Nervously, the man continues glancing in the direction of my wallet as though it has it's own life force.
"You know we don't accept those." - Male #1.
"You'll shut your mouth if you know what's good for you, you pumpkin pie hair-cutted freak!" - Me.
"Sir..." - Male #1.
"Quiet! Just make it and bag it." - Me.
The whole place now stares at me. They all want to know how I hold so much power in the establishment. I can tell that I frighten some, and disgust others. Yet they do not concern me, for I have come for one thing, and one thing only. The man passes it on to his next colleague who rubs me completely wrong from the start:
"What else would you like sir?" - Female #1.
"JUST MAKE IT D****T!! Make it, wrap it, and bag it. Now." - Me.
Her hands moved as fast a black belt performing a Judo chop while she completed my request. After what felt like hours, she finished. I could feel eyes boring holes in my back, others seeking a similar objective. However, I let it worry me not. They could wait. At long last, I grabbed the bag and tried to make a dash for the door but heard a petite voice say:
"That will be $6.65" - Female #2.
And then my conscience tried to take over.
(Comment: Where am I? How does the story resolve?)
If Google Maps had a human finder, I believe it would pin you at Chipotle. Why do I think this? Because you, my foe/friend, have an addiction to what lies within the silver wrappings of the popular Mexican restaurant: a perfectly rolled burrito. I HOPE the story resolves in you paying for your addiction to burritos as drug addicts decently pay for their cocaine. Like the cocaine addict, you quickly spiral out of control and let the addiction take over your mind, body, and soul. All of a sudden you need chips and guacamole and tacos and extra rice and MORE GUACAMOLE to feed your obsession. Unfortunately for you, prices run high in the addiction world. I suggest you take up an extra shift or two at work.
ReplyDeleteThere is only one place teenagers frequent and where one's total comes out to about $6.50: Chipotle. As for how the story ends, I hope the innocent bystanders revolt and force you to hand over your payment prior to walking out the immaculate red doors. Irregardless,I enjoyed your entry as it depicts how I often wish I could act when I have a burrito bowl shaped hole in my heart but the dinner rush prevents me from acquiring it without a fifteen minute wait. Thus, I have to say it though it has been said many times, many ways, I wish Chipotle delivered.
ReplyDeleteI knew three sentences into reading your blog that you had participated in some extreme burrito-eating before posting. I enjoyed your post (other than your shameless ploy to win more comments by prompting your classmates to guess your location), and sympathized with the agony of waiting over ten minutes to consume a burrito. However, I have a very different hypothesis about how this story ends. Since we frequently venture to Chipotle together, I know that a certain cashier by the name of Shanae has a very obvious crush on you. She always questions whether or not you are buying my burrito as well (an indirect inquiry about your love life), and when you answer no, she gives you a sly grin. Therefore, I predict that she allows you to leave without paying for the burrito, and also throws in chips and guacamole on the side.
ReplyDelete